Certain to be uncertain

For as far as I can remember I always wanted to be a teacher, it just changed from grammar school to high school. However, although I always wanted that I am sometimes doubtful on my competence to succeed. By now at this point my life i should be confident with my skills and passion for English and what i hope to accomplish. There's always doubt. Through all the shit I've been through, name calling, people doubting me, putting put down, you would think I would be strong from this.I am, well, a part of me is, but there's another part that still lives within the words of what was once said to me. But that's not the only uncertainty in my life.Its the certainty in knowing what i want and getting it; or perhaps its just knowing what i want.It's like i think i know where I'm going to end up, no, scratch that, i DON'T know, I would LIKE to know. I'm not sure about what i am certain about these days besides me wanting an education and people who care about me. Speaking of which. I don't think anyone reads this anymore..except maybe..well..Hi John?You There?Ha ha. Anyway. Its exciting not knowing where I'm going to end up but at the same time I don't like it. I mean i have my story [inserted lower in this blog] that I haven't written on in what feels like forever. writing use to be such a passion of mine and its faded in and out of my life so many times. This time i swore i would continue and actually accomplish something with this 'book' in progress. Its like not my life is oh so busy this summer, specially with work hours being cut and sleeping till noon most days. Its all that uncertainty. Uncertain that i can write a good book for reading, uncertain i can actually make words into some kind of magic that was persuaded me into my future career. I guess deep down i hope to inspire, change someones views, put a smile on some one's face, I'm uncertain i can even do that. If I have to be certain about anything, its that i hope i can one day be certain i will make a difference, teaching or otherwise. Just to be certain i can make someone feel passionate about something..the same way I am. Then again, maybe I'm uncertain about that too? Ha. let's see where this carries me.